Mildred | guitars

1997 Ibanez Universe UV777BK

"Mildred"

Question: When is an Ibanez JEM not an Ibanez JEM?

Answer: When it has seven strings. Then it becomes an Ibanez "Universe". Like this one. I've wanted a JEM since forever, but was put off a little by the garish tastes of Steve Vai (who designed the JEM, of course). Neon pinks, snot green, acid yellow, all kinda lurid stuff ... but none as in-your-face as the JEM77FP, which was covered with the flowery curtains from Vai's old studio. Classy. Thankfully, he also threw in a few tame colour schemes, presumably to appeal to us 40-somethings. Black with chrome, like this one, has been a theme that has run for a long time through the JEM's. This one is a UV777BK Universe from 1997 (although it must have been very late that year, as production of this model didn't formally start until 1998) and was made at the Fuji-Gen factory in Japan. Look at the write-up for "Twiggy" to see what I think of the gear that comes from THAT factory ... needless to say, this is the same flawless quality that they're famous for. Being a "Universe" this does without the monkey-grip handle that is cut out of the body of the six-string JEMs. Which is a good thing (just my opinion) as the monkey-grip is kinda silly. Only the first ever Universe (the one Vai is holding on the cover of 'Passion & Warfare') had a monkey grip, but that was airbrushed out before the cover was released ... none of the production models had them. Presumably, the extra weight (from not hacking up the body with the monkey-grip) helps to balance out the extra weight of the chunky neck, which is wider to accommodate the extra string. As is the case for (nearly?) all JEMs, this has a basswood body with deep cutaways modelled on Vai's hack job to his original Charvel "Green Meanie". This also has the "disappearing pyramid" fretboard inlays, but thankfully in a nice combo of mother of pearl an abalone as opposed to the cheesy alternative (yellow, pink and green). So all is good. She's wearing her original pickups (three DiMarzio "Blaze") in an HSH configuration. These are wired to give the full humbuckers in switch positions 1 and 5, with the middle single coil in position 3. Positions 2 and 4 are the middle single out of phase with the inside single coils split from the humbuckers, which gives cool stratty "quack", which is all very nice. This has the Lo-Pro Edge 7 trem ... now, I'm happy to admit that the array of trems offered by Ibanez confuses the shit out of me (although I'm learnong fast) but I've learned enough to know that this one holds together REALLY well. Easily as stable as a proper Floyd. This was set up like crap when I got it ... seriously. The action was all over the place, the neck relief was way off and the trem was set so that the studs were set to be ripped out with the first dive bomb. A disgraceful way to treat a nice guitar. I soon sorted all of that out, however, so she's playing beautifully now.

The name? Awww, come on! "Hey ... Vai ... Don't you hear me? We're not going to have another incident like Mildred ..."